'Super soccer speaker' credited with delivering tomorrow's Premier League restart

The long awaited COVID-19 inflicted shutdown on Premier League football comes to an end tomorrow evening, with 'Project Restart' finally coming to fruition and two ‘behind closed doors’ matches scheduled (Manchester City versus Arsenal and Aston Villa versus Sheffield United). Recent months have seen intense negotiations involving the Premier League, the Football Association and individual football clubs, guided by the evolving advice from public healthcare experts and the financial and footballing imperatives of finishing the 2019-2020 season. Players and managers have had varying views and opinions and the debate has at times become heated and personalized:  https://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/2020/0527/1143057-troy-deeney-opens-up-on-abuse-over-covid-19-stance/. 

As always, Jurgen Klopp has provided leadership and a sense of perspective - see earlier blog:  https://sportyman2020.blogspot.com/2020/03/football-life-and-death.html

 

Jurgen Klopp - who celebrates his birthday today, Bloomsday, and whose words are often as lyrical and insightful as those of James Joyce himself

The date for the return to football has been pushed back a few times and there have been tense and detailed discussions regarding COVID testing and other safety measures for players, management and officials. Training systems employed by clubs in recent weeks have been under constant scrutiny and, when the games return, fans have been urged not to congregate near football grounds https://www.goal.com/en-ie/news/liverpool-hit-back-at-city-mayor-over-claims-fans-would/jfdug46o2yau1a1cvf0as8r3x

Every now and then, little snippets of these negotiations became public, tantalizing football fans with promises of football coming back (apart perhaps from the fans and officials of relegation threatened clubs, some of whom may have preferred the entire season to be declared null and void: https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11669/11957402/premier-league-season-should-be-declared-null-and-void-if-its-not-finished-says-west-hams-karren-brady). 

The return of the German Bundesliga a few weeks back gave everyone a lift (see also earlier blog: https://sportyman2020.blogspot.com/2020/05/physics-football-and-bundesliga.html) and La Liga in Spain has since followed suit.   

Project Restart's secret 'motivational-negotiator'

However, the investigative team at Sportyman2020 have learned that a late breakthrough in Premier League negotiations in recent weeks was in fact facilitated by a ‘motivational intervention’ from a salesman and former office manager. Some clever clogs from the Premier League brought in this individual at a late stage in the discussions and reports from different club attendees have confirmed that his intervention was key in pushing things over the line.

After just a few minutes of listening to his ‘wise, heady/cerebral and urbane/urban mixture of philosophy and leadership lingo and logic’ (apparently this phrase is printed on his business cards), the delegates quickly started to see common ground. A senior Premier League official told delegates that the ‘super soccer speaker’ (his own description of himself) would ‘intensively motivate and brain-energize’ them (again, his own phrase) until they reached an agreement. This prospect was enough to focus the minds of everyone present, and people were apparently putting their hands up to sign agreements within ten minutes of his arrival.

One club official, who wished to remain anonymous, said ''This kinda odd little guy came in and started talking complete and utter bull. He was giving us motivational quotes, doing funny dances and using all kinds of management-speak rubbish like asking us to 'fly some ideas up the flagpole'. He even had a football with him and started trying to do some tricks, but he looked like he was no better at football than at public speaking. Someone from another club suggested he 'put that flagpole where the sun don't shine' and we all suddenly started laughing. I think we started to realize that, unless we could come to some sort of agreement soon, that we would be trapped with this guy for the night''.

Sportyman2020 has since learned that the name of this mystery motivational philosopher is, apparently, David Brent.

And while we don’t have any footage or images from the crucial Premier League breakthrough meeting that he 'facilitated', I have been given a video of Brent delivering a similar intervention to business people some years back and I have the link copied below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXytRC0k-K8

 

Brent doing a reflective photo-shoot after delivering a motivational session